day 2 is harder than day 1

Frustration, anger, sadness. Rearrange, repeat.

I'm sitting in my now half-empty apartment, not knowing if I will be able to live here after May. The place is bare, barren. It's like this enormous part of my life never happened, and I would almost believe that, except I'm sitting here - not knowing what to so or how to feel.
I've been alternately choking on tears and anger, frustrated that it's nobody's 'fault' and feeling so sad at the unexpected way this turned out.

It's not without irony that I've spent the last 6 hours cleaning the place. No matter how hard I scrub....it's very Lady Macbeth of me, isn't it? Fuck.

Edit: Perhaps more Curse of the Starving Class than Macbeth...