procrastinating already
Happy 2007, everyone!
Things are rolling along out here, and are likely to pick up in a serious way over the next week or two. So of course I'm writing here instead of working, mwa ha! Actually I just wanted to jot down the screenplay for a film that will no doubt take the country by storm.
Scene: The apartment downstairs
Man is listening to terrible R&B music for the 3rd hour in a row. The stereo is set to its highest level. The floor shakes, vibrating the loose change on the coffee table of our apartment upstairs. Shot of Downstairs Guy, in musical bliss, reclining on a maroon leather sofa. He mouths along with the words of "Let's Get It On" for the 5th time.
Shot pans over to enormous speaker, woofer attempting to jump out of cabinet due obscenely loud volume setting. Cut to tight shot of massive stereo equalizer and slow pan over to "Power" button. From out of frame a black-and-white cat's paw slowly slides over the button and pushes it to the "off" position.
Cut to man jerking his head upright, turning around just as cat flies at his face, claws latching onto his head. Like the scene in Alien, the man lurches violently this way and that, crashing into things in his apartment (velvet paintings on the wall, autographed picture of Barry White etc) until finally landing on his back just in front of the massive speaker, which teeters on its tiny pedestal and then begins to fall.
The cat, sensing his work is done, releases his grip on the man's head and springs away, just before the massive speaker crushes its unhappy, claw-marked, puffy-eyed master.
[muffled cheering from upstairs, faint sound of cat food tin opening]
The End
"What are you looking at, bitch? prrrrrrrrrr..."
Things are rolling along out here, and are likely to pick up in a serious way over the next week or two. So of course I'm writing here instead of working, mwa ha! Actually I just wanted to jot down the screenplay for a film that will no doubt take the country by storm.
Scene: The apartment downstairs
Man is listening to terrible R&B music for the 3rd hour in a row. The stereo is set to its highest level. The floor shakes, vibrating the loose change on the coffee table of our apartment upstairs. Shot of Downstairs Guy, in musical bliss, reclining on a maroon leather sofa. He mouths along with the words of "Let's Get It On" for the 5th time.
Shot pans over to enormous speaker, woofer attempting to jump out of cabinet due obscenely loud volume setting. Cut to tight shot of massive stereo equalizer and slow pan over to "Power" button. From out of frame a black-and-white cat's paw slowly slides over the button and pushes it to the "off" position.
Cut to man jerking his head upright, turning around just as cat flies at his face, claws latching onto his head. Like the scene in Alien, the man lurches violently this way and that, crashing into things in his apartment (velvet paintings on the wall, autographed picture of Barry White etc) until finally landing on his back just in front of the massive speaker, which teeters on its tiny pedestal and then begins to fall.
The cat, sensing his work is done, releases his grip on the man's head and springs away, just before the massive speaker crushes its unhappy, claw-marked, puffy-eyed master.
[muffled cheering from upstairs, faint sound of cat food tin opening]
The End
posted by Mike at 9:02 PM
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